Vala!
by valasmaldoran
Summary: Dealing with the Ancients is nothing compared to dealing with a bored Vala Mal Doran. Set somewhere after Origin but before Beachhead.


He heard her coming, but by that time it is too late.

It's funny, how the sound of boots scuttling down the halls sent his blood running a little faster in his veins, how that humming thing she did whenever she came to him last, after everyone else had grown tired of her or had failed to entertain her, made him want to Ascend again. Dealing with the Ancients is nothing compared to dealing with a bored Vala Mal Doran.

When she finally reached his office, he didn't even bother to look up from his desk. Maybe she would see that he was very busy doing very boring things and would kindly leav-

"Daniel, darling!"

So much for that.

Daniel sighed inwardly, reluctantly lifting his head from the notebooks splayed out across his desk. She has her hair in pigtails, each accented by red hair ties with... are those ladybugs?

"Do you like them?" She must have caught his queried expression. "I saw them when Sam took me-"

"As fascinating as I'm sure your story is, I'm really busy here, Vala..."

Vala, for the first time, seemed to notice that he was actually _doing_ something, which brought to life her signature pout. Daniel frowned.

"Is _everyone_ on this base working?!" she complained, but instead of turning on her heels and walking out (which is what most people would do when they find archaeologists buried under piles of work), she drew closer to him, to get a better look at what he was doing.

"That's generally what people do at work, Vala. They... _work_."

Vala ignored his patronizing tone, closing the distance between them. She came around behind his chair, resting her hands on his shoulders before leaning down, bringing her chin down to rest of her hand. Daniel closed his eyes momentarily, trying his best to compose himself.

"Yes, but it's all so very boring."

"No it's not."

"That's because you're a _very_ boring person, sweetie."

Daniel didn't bother to answer her, and went about continuing his task. Vala waited off of four seconds before she fidgeted. The corners of his mouth twitched, thinking that she had finally decided that leaving him alone was best, but they returned to their downward position the moment he felt his glasses being yanked from his face.

"Vala!" he growled warningly, his body tensing.

To his left, her chin still shoved into his shoulder, Vala slipped on his glasses and peered down at his notebooks. She pulled a face, moving from her perched position to glance around his office.

"Why on Earth do you where these, Daniel? No wonder it takes you so long to finish things... I can barely see my own hand in front of my face!"

Daniel turned his chair slightly, standing up only long enough to grab his glasses from her face before shoving them back on his own. He ignored the fingerprints that now etched themselves into the corners of his vision.

"Don't touch my glasses, seeing as you broke the last ones."

"That was an accident," she reminded him.

"Yeah, well, everything you do tends to be an accident."

Daniel winced, surprised at how harsh his words came out of his mouth. But then he realized who he was talking to, and he didn't feel quite as bad. It was the silence that slowly ate away at him, and when he opened his mouth to apologize, it was Vala that beat him to the chase.

"What are you doing, anyway?"

Daniel made sure that his tone was softer, less aggravated, before beginning to answer. "Well, you remember that writing we found back on P3X-839? The section I couldn't translate? Well, I think it may be a something of, of a mix-"

Something resembling a gunshot when off behind him, and he turned around to find Vala lounging on his research table, chewing... was that bubblegum?

"What the hell was that?"

"What?" Vala replied innocently.

"Are you popping your gum or something?"

Vala cocked her head, somewhat confused, before realization set in and she grinned. "Oh! You mean..." she trailed off to repeat what she had done just moments before. Daniel cringed, rolled his eyes, and turned back to his work.

"As I was saying, I think it may be something of a hybrid of the Kelnoroosh language we encountered back on PX-"

The popping sound came again, this time in two.

"Back on," Daniel repeated, his voice raising in volume, aggravation clear and present in his tone. "PX-624, and another language found a planet we visited almost four years ago. The thing is-"

Again with the fucking popping!

"Vala!" he exclaimed, slamming down his pencil before pinching the bridge of his nose. Why? Why did she have to pick him? Why did she feel the need to shadow his every move, subsequently annoying the living hell out of him at every turn?

"If you're not interested, fine. But, for the love of god, stop. Popping. Your. Gum."

There was a heavy silence, before Daniel sighed and picked up his pencil, returning to his work.

_Pop!"_

The point on his pencil snapped.

"Alright! I've had-"

The beginnings of Daniel's rant were stopped dead in their tracks when Vala quickly whipped him around. It all happened so fast, he had no clue how they ended up like that. All he knew was that Vala's face was much too close to his own, and the way she was leaning over gave him a fantastic view of her-

_I hope she didn't see that._

The way her grin brightened told him that she had.

"I can think of a few things we can be do that are a lot more fun than translating some boring old language, Daniel," she purred, peering at him through hooded eyes. Daniel sucked in a breath before clearing his throat, cocking his head back to create some space between them. Space, yes. Space was good. Good ol' space.

"Uhm, well, I'm sure you-"

"A _lot_ more fun," was her reply, and she brought herself ever close to him. Her nose pressed against his, making Daniel's eyes grow wide.

That was far enough.

"Vala," he warned. His tone was cold, nothing like the sultry and playful burr that had nestled itself in her own. He expected her to press on, she'd done it plenty of times before. But, to his surprise, she pulled back. His eyes closed, and he let out a breath he hadn't even known he'd been holding in.

"Well, fine then! I'll just find someone else to play with!" And with that she was stomping out of his office, pigtails swishing ferociously.

That was... easy.

"Good luck with that," he murmured, loud enough only for himself to hear. Finally, she was gone. Knowing Vala, he would have at least two or three hours before she came back, even more persistent in getting him to entertain her. Maybe he would agree to grab a bite to eat with her, if everything went as planned and he managed to...

Wait.

Why _didn't_ she push him? Usually by now she had worked her way to laying across his desk, so that he couldn't read his notes no matter how hard he tried to ignore her presence. Or maybe she would insist on blabbing on and on about base gossip or some stupid television show she'd watched last night until he was so worn down that he just _had_ to give in or he just might explode. Daniel always caved, and she knew that. He wasn't proud of it, of course, but why would she hand in the towel if she _knew_ that she would get her way? And then he realized. She was leaning over him, with her hands on either side of his hips.

Daniel stood quickly, patting his pockets. It was gone. His wallet was gone.

That sneaky little-

"Vala!"


End file.
